Sunday 28th October 2007TRINITY XXI

Fr David Cherry

Ecclesiasticus 35 :  12 - 17  ;  II  Timothy  4  :  6 – 8  &  16 – 18  ; Luke  18  :  9 – 

Those words of the publican in today’s gospel :  “God be merciful to me a sinner…” 

We are infinitely more than we care to know about ourselves. 

One of the exercises that first years do on the training course for Spiritual Directors is to go into pairs and have another ask you: Who are you?  You write down whatever comes to mind.  And this is repeated over and over again:  ‘Who are you?’  

You and I could try this is in our prayers:  “Who am I?”  Going deeper and deeper in our discovery, asking God to tell me who I am.  Many will think this is totally pointless while most of us just find it too threatening to stay with it.  “Who am I?”

While we may assent to the truth that we are created by God and that God loves each one of us, there is still a personal discovery to be made which begins with the realisation that we are not merely an accumulation of achievements of schooling and careers; relationships and reputations; neither merely an accumulation of our failures in relationships and our own lack of self-worth.  We are infinitely more than we care to know about ourselves.  

Schools compete in the league tables while Universities are desperate to up their profile. The University of Westminster’s motto is “God is our strength” an embarrassment to a now proudly secular institution founded out of a sense of Christian calling.  Instead we have a new slogan: “Educating for Professional Life” on banner-heads and transit vans!   

Lady Julia says of her ex-husband Rex Mottram in Brideshead Revisited: "'He was something absolutely modern and up-to-date that only this ghastly age could produce. A tiny bit of a man pretending he was the whole."

Sometimes chaplains  listen to students who have started on a route they now realise has nothing to do with who they really are or want to be.  It is these crisis moments which are often the beginning of something true.

But who are we?  How to stay with this nagging question?    Fr McCabe points out that the Pharisee has forgotten who he really is, if he ever knew it.  He is smug, thrilled with himself.  And the publican is repenting of himself – look what I have become; God deliver me from the delusions which prevent me from loving myself for who I am; deliver me from the prison-house of my own estimations.  God be merciful to me, a sinner.

Fr McCabe writes : “Philosophers have talked about how important it is to know oneself; and they are quite right.  But Christianity is a wisdom concerned with how to love oneself, and how to rejoice in being.”

St Augustine at his conversion comes to a realisation of how he has been “You were with me and I was not with you.  I was kept from you by those things, yet had they not been in you, they would not have been at all.”
And so he comes to himself – to the real rejoicing in himself, the gift of who he is.
You called and cried to me and broke open my deafness : and you sent forth your beams and shone upon me and chased away my blindness; …. you touched me, and I have burned for your peace…

Today is also the feast of Ss Simon and Jude and they get a look in, in the offertory hymn.  On Thursday, the great Solemnity of All Saints, we celebrate those who advanced along the joyful road of finding their true life hid with Christ in God, the God of their strength and salvation; those who were able to say with St Paul that they too counted everything else as so much rubbish by comparison with knowing Christ and having a place in him; the Christ who was, and, in heaven is, the well-spring of their lives.  

And on Friday we commemorate the Souls of the Faithful Departed.  We pray, in solidarity with them as they continue their journey through the valley of the shadow of death, that we, with them, may come to a fuller love of ourselves and others.  

And here, let us make remembrance, our great act of ‘not-forgetting’ the mercy and loving kindness of God towards us, as we stand with hearts, confident in the goodness of God, praying: “God be merciful to me a sinner.”  Amen